What to Do If Your Therapist Says Something That Doesn’t Sit Right?
So you’re in session, things are rolling along, and then your therapist says something that makes you stop in your tracks. Maybe it felt a little off, maybe it rubbed you the wrong way, or maybe it just hit you harder than expected.
First off: that happens. Therapists are human. And you’re human, too — which means it’s completely normal for something to land in a way that doesn’t feel good.
Here’s what you can do if it happens to you:
1. Take a Breath and Notice What’s Going On
You don’t have to respond right away. Sometimes it helps to pause and ask yourself:
What about that comment bothered me?
Did it feel invalidating, confusing, or just… wrong?
Whatever the feeling is, it’s valid.
2. Bring It Into the Room (If You Want)
It can feel awkward to call out your therapist, but therapy is your space. You get to say when something doesn’t feel right.
You might try:
“When you said that, it didn’t sit well with me.”
“I know that wasn’t your intention, but it landed differently.”
“Can we pause and talk about what you just said?”
A good therapist won’t get defensive — they’ll lean in and want to understand.
3. Remind Yourself: You’re Not Being “Too Much”
So many of us (especially if you’re neurodivergent) worry about being difficult or “making trouble.” But actually, naming how something landed is a huge part of the work. It’s practicing self-advocacy in real time.
4. Pay Attention to Their Response
This is important. Do they listen? Clarify? Repair the moment? Or do they brush it off? How they handle feedback tells you a lot about whether this is a safe relationship for you.
5. Know That You Have Options
Sometimes a weird comment can be worked through and actually build more trust. Other times, it might make you realize this therapist isn’t the right fit. Both are okay. Therapy is about finding the space that supports you.
✨ Bottom line: If your therapist says something that feels off, you’re allowed to notice it, name it, and decide what you want to do with it. Therapy isn’t about being perfect — it’s about being real, and that includes moments like this.
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